Chocolate covered morsels from the devil.

I am so proud of myself!  I am half way through my 6 Day Express and even though I’ve struggled a bit, I’ve done it with practically no cheating.  3 days of a strict diet may not seem like a big deal, but to me it’s phenomenal.  This tells me that I can succeed, that I can do this, and I will win!

I say practically didn’t cheat because usually, I’ll get all gung-ho about starting some new meal plan, and then cheat my way through the whole thing.  I’ll still lose weight, and then for some reason (*snarf*), I’ll just go back to eating the way I was eating and eventually gain anything I lost.  Or, even worse, I’ll be so focused on what I can’t eat for a measly few days, I’ll fall of the wagon for one meal, which becomes 2, and then 3… you see my point.

I haven’t done that this time.  In a perfect world, I could live somewhere like the Biggest Loser Ranch for a week, maybe 2, and not have to deal with constant temptation.  But I don’t have that option.  I live with my husband and 2 boys, and not far from “well-meaning” relatives who keep sending home sweets with my husband when he takes his mom back to their place.

Friendly gesture or Sabotage?

Friendly gesture or Sabotage?

Yeah, that cake my SIL sent home the other night that I only had a tiny bite of, that was the only bit I had of it.  In my previous incarnation, I would have been sorely tempted, and maybe would have justified eating half.  Then I would have felt tremendous guilt, which might have translated to justifying continued off-plan eating for the rest of the week.

Yesterday afternoon,  when I went to pick up my mom-in-law, I could see they had the doors to their apartment open.  When mom got in the car, I could totally smell the deep-frying that had been going on.  Apparently SIL was making donuts.  When I got back home, I told my husband that he would most likely be bringing donuts home tonight.  He was all, “Whaaaa???”  And I was all, “I know, right?!”  Yeah, yeah, we’re a coupla budding Shakespeares.

We decided to go for one of our long walks instead of the gym, so we hit the road and we get to the street that their apartment is on.  Guess what we smell?  Yup, deep-fried something or other. Mind you, we’re about 1/4 mile from their place, but apparently downwind.  And guess what he brought home after he took his mom back: chocolate frosted donuts!  Yay! NOT.  Why is everything she makes covered in chocolate?  WTF to that.

At first I was pissed-I felt like this stupid heifer was deliberately trying to sabotage me.  I told the hubs to just throw the shit out.  I don’t know why this woman has to keep sending these little fat pills home.  But he said to keep them, the kids could have them, like they had the cakes.  I don’t want the kids eating them either.  If I’m not going to eat them because they are DEEP FRIED and coated in chocolate, neither should they.  Anyway, I think I was too wiped out from our 5 mi. jaunt that I couldn’t form a coherent argument, so I just let it go.  For now.  *insert evil laugh here*

I was starving later that night.  I desperately wanted to chow down on something, but I didn’t think twice about the donuts.  Hey, don’t get me wrong; I love donuts. But I don’t like chocolate frosted ones.  I know, I’m such a communist.   Anyway, even though it wasn’t on my plan, I had a cheesestick and a piece of lunchmeat, and I had a few bites of DH’s bean soup.  The soup had a little rice in it, but it settled the rumbling in my tummy.  Just making full disclosure!  The thing is, I didn’t feel like I was making a bad choice, or cheating, even if I wasn’t supposed to be eating so late.  I ate a little off plan, but the world didn’t end.  I got up this morning, made my Shakeology, and in another 20 minutes, I’ll be doing my first workout.

I am finally doing it, and I couldn’t be more excited or proud of myself for sticking with it.  Three days may seem like nothing to a lot of people, but it isn’t to me.  I have committed to love myself and respect myself enough to do what I need to do.  It makes me feel strong to say no to foods I know aren’t right for me right now.  I don’t think my fitness and weight loss goals have ever been more clear or obtainable before.  I can’t wait to face the next challenge.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Chocolate covered morsels from the devil.

  1. sassyangies says:

    Your doing great.. Great job not eating those donuts!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s